Having a friends with benefits relationship can be a little tricky. On one hand, at the beginning everything is cool becuase it’s commitment free, light, and fun. On the other hand, things become heavier and one of the parties involved becomes resentful.
To avoid this kind of situations, it is necesary that you know a few rules on how to handle this kind of relationships.
First of all, let me tell you that if you plan to get in a friend with benefits relationship, or you are already in one please be sure that you know what you are getting into. I want you to know that the chances of turning a friend with benefits into a boyfriend are very low. Therefore; I don’t want you to walk into this kind of relationship expecting to turn it into something deeper.
The beginning of the “relationship” or the moment when you meet him and start talking to him is critical. This is the moment when he decides how he is going to see you in his life. When a man determines the role you are going to play in his life, this is very hard to change. Beleive me that men hate to dissapoint women, so if he tells you that he is not ready for a relationship, then take his word for it. If he tells you this, you should dump him and move on, why?
If you really like him and feel connected with him then why not stick around and become his friend with benefits until he sees your worth? You are dead wrong because the male mind does not work like that. If you stick around after knowing that he doesn’t take you seriously now, you are jumping into a harmful cycle that can trap you for years. Beleive me that you can spend years trapped in this hell waiting for him to take things to the next level, but that will never happen. If he is unable to see your worth now, he won’t do it later either.
As I said earlier, there are some rules to follow for you not to die waiting around for him:
Rule #1 No dates
Friends with benefits don’t go out on dates because they are not neither dating nor in a relationship. They have sex ocassionally and move on with their lives period.
Rule # 2 Don’t text him
Do not text him to plan another meeting before he does. Remember that you are not in a relationship status, so you don’t have to see him that often. A once a month meeting should be just fine because more than that can sound like pressure for him. If he does not answer your text, leave it like that. Don’t kkep bugging him because he might be hitting someone else.
Rule # 3 Be honest
If you start developing feelings for him please speak up. Never assume that he is a mind reader, and that things magically will solve your way. After doing that you need to immediately stop sleeping with him because this will make it hard for him to take your word seriously.
RULE # 4 Be prepared for a heart break
When you started a FWB relationship, you wanted to have fun and nothing serious. That’s the way his mind was set as well. He obviously didn’t change, so do not waste more time waiting for a miracle to happen becuase it won’t. He only wants to have fun, he is immature, or he is not ready for commitment yet. Whatever his reasons are, the only thing you need to understand is that he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend.
Most women expect to turn their FWB relationships into something more, and get really dissapointed after spending years without having what they want from the men in their lives. Before taking any decision, be sure that you are cool with these simple rules.
- Do friends with benefits really work? (jordieshaw.wordpress.com)